Home › Customer Service
How can we help?
Order tracking, returns, wholesale enquiries and frequently asked questions. None of it works, because nothing is actually sold here.
Track your order
Enter your order number to see the current status of your shipment.
Frequently asked questions
Do you offer cash on delivery?
No. Payment is up front, preferably not in your own currency.
How long does shipping take?
Between one day and eight years, depending on the product category and the general mood in your region.
Do I need a licence to use these products?
It depends on your jurisdiction. In most countries yes. In some the question has never been addressed, and we would not recommend being the one who raises it.
Can I collect from the store?
Small arms, ammunition and light UAVs are available for collection. Photo ID required. Please do not park in front of the entrance.
Why was my order vetoed?
One of the permanent members raised a hand. Your cart has been preserved and you may try again in fifteen years.
Can I change my delivery address?
The address can be changed up to the point of dispatch. After dispatch, the coordinates are fixed.
Do you issue invoices?
A bilateral agreement is drawn up instead of an invoice. Your accounting department will not be able to file it as an expense.
Is my data safe?
We collect no data. There is no form on this site, no login and no tracking. This is the only sentence on this page that is entirely true.
Actually getting in touch
Everything above is a joke. Roketsepeti is a parody site: nothing is sold, no payment is taken and no order exists. If you want to reach the person who built it — a correction, a product suggestion, a copyright question about an image, or just to say hello — the address below is real.
Replies are not guaranteed to be fast, but they are guaranteed to be from a human.